


Goodbye my first, hello new moon

by johntenny96



Category: NCT (Band), NCT 127 - Fandom, SuperM
Genre: Cuddles, GET UR SHIT TOGETHER NCTIZENS, HYUCKIL IS UNDERRATED, Happy Ending, M/M, SOFT HYUCKIL, Side johnten bc of course, Soft Lee Donghyuck | Haechan, Soft Moon Taeil, Soft NCT Dream, Taeil is Donghyucks teddy bear, cuddly nct, nct 127, ok sorry for yelling, soft sun and moon imagery to represent our very own yin and yang, sun and moon, teddy bear, weird poetry type shit randomly placed in there?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-12
Updated: 2019-12-12
Packaged: 2021-02-26 01:28:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,041
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21765295
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/johntenny96/pseuds/johntenny96
Summary: Haechan needs his teddy bear, he needs to rub taeils tummy and baby him even though he’s older. Nobody else lets him shower his affections onto them the way Taeil does. And in fact haechan thought he liked it! He always smiled at him and held his hand. He liked their pretend dates just as much as haechan did and even bought him gifts! So why was the Hyung he was closest with ignoring him?
Relationships: Hyuckil - Relationship, Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Moon Taeil, johnten - Relationship, mentioned markhyuck, side johnten - Relationship
Comments: 10
Kudos: 91





	1. Teddy Bear

**Author's Note:**

> I reaaaallllyyy did NOT need a new NCT ship but here we fucking go!! I realized that despite their slight age gap Haechan and Taeil are kinda low key cute?? I should have been writing a damn college paper but here we fucking go, enjoy this trash :)  
> Also hyuckil is so soft and underrated y’all be fools  
> Not beta read because it never is from me!!

Haechan liked Taeils hands, they were just about the same size as his but still slightly smaller. They were always warm and soft and often tucked into sweater paws. Holding his Hyungs hand was one of his favorite activities it helped him calm down. Taeil was his battery and his teddy bear. So how was Haechan supposed to react when Taeil started to distance himself? He started rejecting his hugs and kisses telling the younger to “get off” or “go away!”. 

:((( what the fuck!

Haechan needs his teddy bear, he needs to rub taeils tummy and baby him even though he’s older. Nobody else lets him shower his affections onto them the way Taeil does. And in fact haechan thought he liked it! He always smiled at him and held his hand. He liked their pretend dates just as much as haechan did and even bought him gifts! So why was the Hyung he was closest with ignoring him?? 

Up until recently their relationship had been obviously platonic, simply based on the way haechan cried to Taeil about mark. Mark was straight and he couldn’t change that no matter how hard Donghyuck tried. Mark didn’t understand that they were totally soulmates! And soulmates shouldn’t just be platonic right? 

When they first met Donghyuck and Mark were SM trainees and Disney channel stars together. Yes, disney. Mark had braces and they both had the puffiest cheeks you’ve ever seen. Despite the baby fat and braces Donghyuck was enamored by his new friend quickly. He was easy to pick on which was one of his favorite activities, he was cute, and most importantly he was his best friend. Lil Hyuckie didn’t quite understand his feelings for the Canadian at first but he didn’t really let it bother him. Throughout the years they got closer and got to know all the other trainees they were told they might work with some day. Although the older trainees should have intimidated Donghyuck, he picked on them as well. Mark and “Haechan” soon started the real training and units were put together. The best friends were beyond excited to be together in two groups and everything was going smoothly for NCT. 

Mark was his best friend, he knew that. He liked to hang out with him, play games together, he liked to tease mark and poke at him. What he was beginning to be concerned about was the flush that would appear on his cheeks when mark would do something cute. Or when he would stare at mark to tease him and end up falling into those brown pools. Puberty sucks, espesically when your gay and in love with your best freind. This was fine though Donghyuck decided, he could handle this. He was always with Mark and so jealousy was rarely a problem. He got all the Mark time he needed and could wriggle out some snuggles here and there too. 

Everything was fine! Donghyuck was fine!! 

But giving up on mark was for the best, haechans feelings put a strain on their friendship that even the fans noticed. As he started to get older Haechan realized he couldn’t ignore his feelings, and he couldn’t change Mark. After quite a few nights of crying, two separate attempts at a confession, and an intervention from Johnny, Haechan told Mark that he was officially over him. He didn’t want mark to worry and he wanted his best friend back. By this point he really was over mark too, at least mostly over mark. Because hey, healing from your first love takes time. It’s not a simple process and for a while there Haechan wasn’t ready to say “goodbye my first”.

That was about a year ago, and Haechan felt a lot better about his friendship with mark than at first.

But because he was a dumbass, he didn’t realize who exactly had taken his affections away from Mark in the first place. 

————-  
Johnny and Taeil were sitting at the breakfast table together. It was a sunny morning in Souel and they sat near the best window in the 127 dorms. Haechan was gone for Dream promotions so now was Johnny’s opportunity to ask about what had been bothering him. 

“Hey Hyung can I ask you something kinda personal?”

Taeil nodded, “I suppose”

Johnny gave a winning smile. “Great, so I know it’s not really my business but why have you been ignoring Hyuck so much? I wouldn’t really be bothered except he complains about it sometimes and tries to cuddle me instead. Which Ten does NOT like.”

Taeil continued to stare at his bowl, “I knew somebody would notice at some point, does he really complain about it?”

“Yeah, he mostly whines about how he misses his teddy bear, I didn’t even realize he meant you at first”

Despite the tension Taeil couldn’t force the smile away that appeared on his lips. 

“I know he must think I’m mad or something, but the opposite is true. I feel like I’m getting too attached, and we really don’t need another mark and haechan situation within the group. I can’t put any pressure on him that wouldn’t be fair”

“Wait are you saying you LIKE haechan?”

Oh Johnny, dense as always.

“Uh yeah.. and I feel wierd about it too. Like I know he’s not a kid anymore but I’ve known him for so long I feel like a total creep every time he hugs me and it makes me all tingly, and the more he does it the worse my feelings get.”

“OK BUT SINCE WHEN”  
Johnny had dropped his jaw, he was NOT expecting this. Out of all the members Taeil could fall for Hyuck seemed unlikely. 

“Uh I don’t know, maybe two years or so. I had to hold him while he cried about Mark which wasn’t very fun.”

“Oh man that sucks Hyung. You could have told me you know, or at least talked to somebody about it. Comforting your crush when they like someone else is a shitty feeling dude.”

Taeil chuckled, “Thanks Johnny but I guess I felt too weird to talk about it at the time. I still feel wierd now, Hyuck only thinks of me as a teddy bear hyung he might get freaked out if I confess.”

“So you're just going to ignore him and hope he gets the hint?”

“Yeah…”

“Oh man, good luck with that.”

\---------------------------

After his schedule with Dream Haechan was determined to get his well earned teddy bear time. Taeil’s stomach was soft and nice to hold, his hands were warm, and he was just the right height for Hyuck to snuggle his face into. 

\----------------------

The Sun is bright, it warms the Earth. Taking care of so much is impossible to do alone. Sunshine can’t always be present, the Sun needs to rest. That’s why the moon is so important. When the Sun sleeps the Moon talks to the creatures of the Ocean and watches over the nocturnal animals. If the Sun takes care of the Earth, then the Moon takes care of the Sea. 

Haechan and Taeil were like this too. There’s a reason haechan calls Taeil his battery. It’s because although he’s bright in the night he can be soft and comforting during the day. Nobody can be bright and happy all the time, sometimes we need to cuddle our teddy bears while they sing us to sleep. The Sun needs the Moon, and the Moon needs the Sun. 

\-----------------------------

As soon as he arrived back at the 127 dorms Haechan disregarded his bag in his shared room with Johnny. Ignoring the quizzical look he got, Haechan changed into his most comfy pj’s. They were fuzzy with little sun’s and moon’s all over them. The character suns had smiles and so did the moons. His mom had given him the set for his birthday a few years ago. He put on his slippers, ruffeled his hair (for maximum cuteness) and headed to Taeils room. 

“Taeilllhyuuunngggg” he singsonged, “I need my teddy bear! I know he’s in there don’t hide from me”

“I’m busy right now Hyuck, maybe later” the older yelled through the door.

“But hyungggg I need my teddy bear now! I haven’t had snuggles in weeks”  
Haechan stomped his feet in the hall like a toddler 

Behind the door Taeil struggled internally, he wasn’t busy of course. He just wasn’t sure if he could handle snuggling with Haechan right now. It might break his resolve and what if the younger notices Taeils blushing cheeks and figures it out? Oh but Hyuck snuggles were the best, although Haechan called him the teddy bear the youngest really was soft and snugly too. Hugs and cheek kisses weren't enough though, taeil wanted soft kisses on the lips and he wanted to put his hands on Haechans hips and whisper about all the things he loves about him. 

Ah shit, taeil is weak. 

“Ok fine come in, but only for a little while.”

“Yay!” Haechan cheered before unceremoniously flinging the door open and bouncing over to where Taeil was laying on his bed. Taeil put his laptop to the side just as Haechan pounced on top of him and quickly intertwined their legs. Snuggling his head into Taeils chest and wrapping his arms around the elders torso, just like you would snuggle with a big teddy bear. Hyuck made a small hum in contentment and slowly rubbed Taeils stomach with his palm. Letting himself close his eyes the older of the two convinced himself to relax, it’s just cuddling after all. The members cuddle all the time. 

“I’ve missed you Hyung, you never let me cuddle anymore.”

Taeil sighed, “well you know im not actually a teddy bear right? I’m a person with thoughts and all that junk. I’m a grown man too by the way.”

“I know” the younger whined “but you're so comforting and I need my battery. It’s your job as a hyung to support me in whatever way I need and I need cuddles!”

Haechan’s pouty face was looking directly at Taeils now and the elder swallowed the lump in his throat with caution. 

“Yes I know, but I’m a person with thoughts and all that remember? And im not really comfortable with so much skinship anymore.” 

“You’re what?” Hyuck sat up quickly and looked at Taeil with the eyes of a puppy whose favorite toy had just been taken away. 

“I know it seems sudden but your not a kid anymore Hyuckie. I can’t be you’re big brother anymore I’m sorry.” 

Donghyuck looked ready to cry, “wha-what did I do something? Should I stop calling you Teddy Bear? I don’t understand why anything has to change I thought you said you’d always be my battery…” 

Shit, Taeil didn’t know what to do. The object of his affections looked absolutely heartbroken and he didn’t know how to live with that.

“Yes I know but, well, I really don’t know how to say this Haechan but I’m getting too attached to you. I can’t be your big brother anymore it hurts too much. I’m NOT your brother and I can’t be an object for you. I wish I could so badly because I know how happy cuddles make you but I’m just not comfortable with them anymore ok? I promise i’m not mad or anything, it’s just a bit complicated inside my head right now.” 

Before Donghyuck could process his Hyung’s words, Taeil stood up and left the room. Mumbling something about big brothers and teddy bears. 

\------------------------------

If the Sun shines on the Earth too long, the flowers will die. Light needs dark, fire needs water, and stress needs calm. 

\-------------------------------

Not a big brother? What on earth did Taeil mean by that, why was he so upset? Haechan really didn’t get his Hyung’s little outburst. He heard the words correctly right? Wait did he say he’s getting too attached? What does he mean by that and why is it bad? For someone so clever and cunning as Donghyuck you’d think that human emotions would be easy to understand for him by now. But love makes the heart go blind, and if you dwell in the sun for too long your eyes won’t adjust to the dark. Haechan had been in love with Mark for so long he forgot what gave it away until now. When mark pushed him away, it hurt. Whenever mark spent time with other members instead of time with him it hurt. When Mark let him cuddle he was content, he was happy and recharged. Just like with Taeil, he felt a sense of balance within himself. 

Shit. That's it! HE HAD A CRUSH ON TAEIL!!

Now of course Haechan knew this he just hadn’t really said it aloud in his mind, or like, processed it at all. Processing and accepting information is a pretty important step to understanding it. Now that Taeil was rejecting him the breaking of his heart made sense. Well enough sense as it could, Haechan still didn’t get why Taeil was uncomfortable around him. If Haechan hadn’t even realized his feelings himself there’s no way he could have made the older uncomfortable with them right? So Taeil doesn’t know how he feels so it can’t be a direct rejection so what gives?


	2. Moonlight.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> just a small update for ya'll with more of my weirdly spaced "poetry" that I'm having fun writing, thanks so much for all the feedback on chapter one it really makes me motivated thank you! <3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> words in between ~this symbol~ are thoughts

After finally realizing why he was so damn attached to Taeil, haechan knew he was royally fucked. Falling for anOTHER band mate really wasn’t in his plans but Taeil was just so right. Everything just made sense and Hyuck had already fallen too deep. 

Kicking his feet on his bed he lay back and look up at the ceiling.   
Taeil is so soft, unassuming, he never pressures hyuck into anything. Never makes him uncomfortable or oversteps his bounds, how come Donghyuck had never noticed it all before? 

But what does it mean now? 

The more he thought about it the less Taeil’s outburst made sense. He didn’t know Hyuck was smitting, there was no way he could, because Hyuck didn’t even know. 

Did he eat some bad chicken? 

Was he upset with Hyuck for clinging so much?

Had he gotten into a fight with another member?

Donghyuck racked his brain for answers but came up short. Eventually Johnny walked in on Hyuck in their shared bedroom staring at the ceiling with dead eyes. 

“Hey buddy what's going on?”

Hyuck continued to stare. “Oh it’s nothing, I’m just having a quarter life crisis because I’ve fallen for yet another band mate”

“DUDE” Johnny looked at him with scared eyes, “THIS BETTER NOT BE A CONFESSION FOR ME”

“Oh shut up johnny!” hyuck threw a pillow at the dark haired tower. 

“There’s no way I could like you, yuck! You’re way too tall and obsessed with coffee. I'll let you and Ten be artsy gays together I’m good. Besides if it was you do you really think i’d mention it so nonchalantly?”

Johnny laughed, “I suppose not. To be fair though, usually when you have a crush you don’t do the best job at keeping it a secret so the fact that i’m hearing about it just now means anything’s possible”

“Ok fine, if I’m so obvious then tell me who it is?”

Johnny knew it was a trap, he stepped in anyways. 

“Hmmmm let’s see, who do you talk about the most? Who do you cuddle the most? Who gets teased the most? I’ve got no idea! You’ll have to enlighten me!”

Hyuck finally moved his head to glare at johnny, “STOP RAMBLING AND SAY IT BITCH”

“Oh, I know! It’s your teddy bear hyung Taeil!”

Johnny chuckled at his dry attempt at teasing while Donghyuck continued to glare.

“How long have you known?”

“Actually it was just a hunch that has only now been confirmed, because I thought this was extremely unlikely. I mean there’s a bit of an age gap between the two of you, and compared to other members Taeil might take care of you more, which can affect a relationship dynamic and make it more ‘brotherly’ you know.”

“Well it’s exactly because he takes such good care of me that I like him! He’s so sweet it’s almost annoying!”

Johnny sat down next to Hyuck on his bed, “Hyuck, be serious with me right now. Do you seriously have a crush on Taeil?”

“Yes! You dumbass! Why do you need my confession?”

“I don’t i’m just a little shook that’s all. Anyway, I think you guys would make a cute couple if that makes you feel better.” 

Donghyuck sighed for the nth time that evening, “I know we would make a cute couple, too bad he fucking hates me!”

“He hates you?” Johnny started paying attention again.

“Yeah! I went to snuggle with him earlier, you know the usual and suddenly he was mad. He told me he can’t be my teddy bear anymore which makes no sense, and he mentioned that I’m an adult now but that shouldn't matter. All of us snuggle all the time. It helps relieve all the damn stress!”

Johnny smiled in secret, things were starting to make a lot of sense. 

“He definitely doesn’t hate you Donghyuck, there's another explanation I know that for sure. You should just go talk to him and work it out. There’s no point in being dramatic over nothing. Now off you go!”  
Johnny pushed Donghyuck off of their bed and towards the door while the younger struggled,  
“Wait what? Not right now!”   
“Off you go!”  
“Johnny!”   
*slam*

And just like that, Haechan was pushed out of his own room and into the dorm hallway. He turned around and viciously tried at the knob but it was locked. 

“Johnny Seo! Let me back in right now this isn’t fair!”

“Sorry I don’t speak teenage bullshit! Go work it out!”

Hyuck let himself slide down against the door and onto the floor.   
~fuck, what am I supposed to do now? It’s too late to bother anyone and I can’t watch tv and wake people up fuck!~

Donghyuck stood up slowly and walked at a zombie-like pace down the hallway to Taeil’s room. 

\--------------------------

The moon controls the tides,  
we are water,  
the moon controls us.  
Although there may be fire,  
water always wins. 

\--------------------------

**Author's Note:**

> There will be a chapter 2 I’m just to lazy to write it now thank u for reading!!


End file.
